by Stacey Mayo a.k.a. “The Dream Queen”

What stops you from living out your dreams? Over the years, I have coached thousands of people in living out their dreams and have heard at least as many reasons why people don’t believe they can make them happen. I have nicknamed these challenges “Oblocks” - obstacles that block us and occur as so large that we can’t see our way around them.

Many times the obstacles to living out your dreams seem larger than the dream itself. When you focus on these obstacles; that is all you can see. They get larger and larger and take up a greater portion of your mental capacity. Let me give you a simple example. Jim and Mary are riding their bicycles to school and they spot a loose brick in the road. Jim sees the brick and wants to avoid it but he fails to see an on-going car, swerves and hits the brick and takes a tumble. Mary notices the brick, continues to focus on where she is going, bypasses the brick, and goes onward to her destination. And so it goes for living out your dreams. When you focus on obstacles such as fear of failure or lack of expertise, they will paralyze you. When you focus on your vision, you can brainstorm ways to go past the obstacle and move toward your vision.

Here are some of the more common Oblocks that stop people. Which ones resonate with you?

Marital status or age:
1. I am single and have to depend on myself
2. I am married and have to support my family
3. I’m too old; maybe if I were younger

Lack of expertise, credibility, belief in self:
4. I don’t know how
5. I’m not an expert in that
6. Who am I to do something like that?
7. I’m not smart enough
8. I am not talented enough
9. “It’s” not out there

Financial, time, scarcity:
10. I can’t do it now; I’ll wait until I retire
11. I’ll do it when I make big bucks
12. I can’t make money doing that
13. I’ll lose my insurance and other benefits
14. I don’t have enough money to do that
15. There’s not enough time
16. It will take too long
17. I am not vested in my retirement fund yet

Approval from others:
17. People will think I’m crazy
18. My family won’t understand
19. “They” won’t let me

Fear of success:
20. Others will be jealous of my success.
21. They'll get mad at me.
22. I’ll lose my friends

Fear of failure or pain:
23. I’ve tried before and failed
24. What if this isn’t it?
25. I might get hurt.
26. What if I fail?

Most of these statements are directly related to our fears. Many are scarcity-related conversations. When we live in these fears and disempowering beliefs, those are exactly what we get. When we believe our dreams are possible, then they are. The trick is to believe in your dream, take action and allow it to unfold.

• Visualize what it is you want to have happen.
  
• Imagine it as if it already has.
  
• Script it out and write the story as if it already happened and make it as exciting and fantastic as possible.
  
• Notice the kinds of questions you are asking yourself. Do they help you move forward or keep you stuck? Ask yourself, “What is one small thing can I do to move forward to making this dream a reality?”
  
• Notice what you are inspired to do and do it.
  
• Take one day at a time and continue to ask yourself, “what is one thing I can do to move forward today?”

For more information on coaching or other services offered by the
Center for Balanced Living, visit www.balancedliving.com